Monday, August 25: One Nation
Senator Edward M. Kennedy showed up. How great is that? The man’s battling brain cancer, and the dream lives on. Love Teddy or hate Teddy, you gotta love Teddy.
Jim Leach eloquently and quietly deflated the Bush-McCain machine in that dignified Iowa manner. I liked that, but I’m a bit of a dweeb.
Monday’s Obama-centric events humanized Barack Obama and his family. A tired Republican talking point is that Democrats are out of touch, effete liberals. Interesting it was, then, to meet Obama’s sister, Maya, a school teacher in Hawaii. To the party of Money and Oil, I suppose school teachers do seem a bit out of touch. Seemingly, however, to most Americans a school teacher is a comforting and reassuring sight.
And, O to be as effete as Michelle Obama’s brother, Craig Robinson, the shaven-headed 6′ 6″ basketball coach from Oregon State University.
Then, Michelle Obama came out and gave a pretty good speech. She humanized herself and Barack, and paraded those ghastly cute kids around. She introduced herself and her brother as the products of hard-working, blue collar folks. She introduced Barack as a kid raised by a struggling single mother and middle class grandparents.
The night made the Obamas look less like the out of touch liberals the Republicans have already claimed them to be, and more like products of the American dream, as made possible by Democratic policies which are designed to help poor and middle class families succeed.
Also, Jesse Jackson, Jr. is way cooler than his dad.
Tuesday, August 26: Renewing America’s Promise
Tuesday’s festivities began with a yawn from me, and continued with endless blah, blah.
Then, finally, Kathleen Sibelius. I was ready to see what all the VP talk was about. She didn’t disappoint, completely. She did a very good job of mentioning John McCain’s homes, however many there are, by using a Wizard of Oz reference, made effective by her being from Kansas, and by McCain being from wherever some of his houses are. Sibelius could be important in this presidential campaign. I’m not predicting that Obama can win any states as red as Kansas, but he could make McCain spend some money around Clingingtogunsandreligionland. And that’s something Democrats usually can’t do.
The Honorable Robert Casey, Jr. showed up. He is notable for perhaps helping Obama in the parts of Pennsyltucky where being a conservative white Democrat is helpful. He’s non-threatening, and he seems nice.
Some other non-threatening white guy talked about cell phones.
Some other people paraded across the stage, I think.
The star of the night was Brian Schweitzer. He’s the bright, charming, pudgy, bolo tie-wearing governor of the Great State of Montana, the last best place, and almost certainly the first best place. As I am a graduate of a Montana high school, and a graduate of a Montana college, and a long-time resident of Butte, America, it was great to see Montana represented by someone other than Conrad Burns or Denny Rehberg. Montana has been the home of some great lawmakers, from Jeannette Rankin to Mike Mansfield. I don’t know if Schweitzer is great, but he’s entertaining, bold, and fat. I like him. He looks like America.
Hillary Clinton gave a speech, and it was a doozy. I’m quite proud of her. Had she delivered as eloquently during her campaign, she would now be all lined up to get slaughtered by the Republican hate machine.
Wednesday, August 27: Securing America’s Future
Some people showed up that the Democrats think will help them appeal to key demographics, but those people showed up too early for anyone to thoroughly enjoy.
Former President Bill Clinton did okay. He said people will be more impressed by the power of our example than by the example of our power. It’s a great line. It’s also false. People are always impressed by power. That’s why we crave it. That’s why the Clintons spent their lives pursuing it. In a continuing Democratic theme from the convention, he kissed McCain’s public-serving ass. He also hit on all the true stuff, that Republicans don’t care about you unless you’re rich, and that Obama will be a better president than McCain would be.
John Kerry did a great job. It was the best speech I’ve heard him give. He kissed McCain’s ass, then stuck a long, dry, bony finger in there just to let him know he’s not as much of a weenie as he seemed to be during his own presidential campaign. Not that McCain has had a weenie in his anus. Also, that finger reminded McCain that he’s overdue for his prostate exam. Although, if there’s anything wrong with McCain’s ass, surely the Democratic speakers would have seen it, or even tasted it, for the amount of oral action they gave the venerable old man back there.
Chet Edwards…eh…typical. He’s from Texas, I guess. I don’t want to mess with it.
Beau Biden did well. He’s a great story.
Joe Biden is inarguably Joe Biden. He speaks in a way that’s both touching and a little awkward. His Sainted Mother brought a tear to my eye, as did the story about losing his wife and daughter in a car accident. He’s going to be a handful for whoever the Republicans choose to face off against him. Joe can throw a punch…with a smile. He can also take a punch with a smile. He’s tough and smart, and he has great teeth.
Barack showed up. He was handsome, and not at all the scary black man the Republicans will tell you he is.
Thursday, August 28: Change You Can Believe In
You, Dear Reader, are probably getting the impression that I don’t really pay attention until later in the evening. You’re right.
Shawn Johnson, were she a couple of years older, or were I a bit more lewd, would have made me feel funny inside. She did. She’s great. Men everywhere thank her for serving her country.
Stuff happened. People talked.
The Martin Luther King, Jr. thing got my attention.
John Lewis, are you kidding me? There’s an American hero. He spoke at Dr. King’s March on Washington. He literally got his head bashed in. He was beaten by angry whities and the po po during his fight for civil rights. This night, he was able to speak at the convention where an African-American accepted his party’s nomination as its presidential candidate. We’re almost there, John. We’re almost a civilized nation. Many of us will come to doubt that as we watch the Republicans spew their venom for four days next week. But, it’s gonna be okay.
Stevie Wonder is still one of the greatest performers of his era.
It was good to see an Eisenhower. Her grandfather was the last Republican who earned any respect. He was General of the Army, a FIVE star general, and holder of perhaps the most magnificent title in all of American military history, Supreme Commander, Allied Expeditionary Force. How cool would it be to have that title? I would like to be the Supreme Commander of anything. To be the Supreme Commander, Allied Expeditionary Force would give me a big head. Also, Ike was POTUS. He also defined the military-industrial complex and said something like, “God help this country when someone sits at this desk that doesn’t know as much about the military as I do.” He was prescient. I think he was a golfer, too. Busy guy.
Dick Durbin said some stuff.
Barack Obama came out and took away some of the things the Republicans will harp on next week. They’ll do it anyway. They don’t have a lot of ammo, but they are persistent. They don’t have a lot of ideas, but Barack is handsome, smart, and popular. That should be enough to convince 50% of Americans to vote against him. Anybody who’s been to school knows why that works. We’re not conditioned to be fond of the handsome, smart, and popular kids unless they happen to have been born with platinum sporks in their orthodontically perfected mouths.
Barack did well. He’s a wonderful speaker. He still looks like a black dude, and that’s going to hurt him some. He has to speak magnificently every time out or he gets panned. All McCain has to do when he speaks is not look and sound like your crazy feces-hurling neighbour, and Mexican-American war veteran, old Mr. McGillicuddy, and he’ll get rave reviews.
Speaking of raves, I’m off to one.
Good night.
Tags: barack, Biden, Clinton, convention, democrat, denver, eisenhower, hillary, invesco, kerry, king, lewis, Obama
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