Because Democrats have a propensity to recklessly lose elections, and Republicans will literally do and say anything to win, it’s difficult for me to take the position I’m taking now:
Advantage: Obama
To be clear, that is not a prediction of November’s outcome. There is much tennis yet to be played. Was that too effete? I don’t know about you, but I hate those effete, tennis playing liberals. I should try another sport, American football!
It’s still the third quarter in this rough game, and the tough, sweaty boys from Team McCain are determined! Their powerful buttocks and manly thighs flex mightily under their tight, lustrous pants, which can barely contain their enthusiasm for their leader, Big John McCain!
The lean, sinewy boys of Team Obama, visions of ebony elegance, glide across the gridiron, knowing they have the advantage, yet always cautious. More nimble and faster than the boys of Team McCain, Team Obama carefully avoids hard hits, dashing, dancing, and pirouetting toward the end zone.
On any given Sunday, the unthinkable can happen! Suddenly inspired by the girl on their team, Team McCain catches the ball carrier from Team Obama, delivering a crushing blow, pinning the player from Team Obama face down in the manicured lawn on which the game is played!
In contrast to the smooth, relaxed style of Team Obama, taking it slow and savoring the ride, Team McCain likes to hit it hard and fast!
It’s fourth down, and a full nine inches.
Will Team Obama go for it, pushing past the ring of resistance to gain the last few inches, or will they punt?
Now that I’ve decided Obama is on top, meaning he has the advantage, let’s look at some maps.
The map below shows the electoral outcome of the 2004 election when court-appointed place-holder George W. Bush swift-boated John Kerry.
Taking this map as our starting point, what would Team Obama have to do to smear some lipstick on the pigskin and force it into our collective national endzone?
Actually, Team Obama has already done what they need to do. Now, they just need to hold still while we relax and let it happen.
The map below shows what happens when we flip the Bush States where Team Obama has a significant, though not necessarily insurmountable, lead.
Obama can be confident, though not certain, of victories in Iowa, Colorado, and New Mexico. With those States turned blue, Team Obama captures the electoral vote without Ohio or Florida. This is a reasonable scenario that spells trouble for Team McCain.
Another possibility, though less likely, is that New Hampshire votes for McCain. In that case, an electoral tie is a very real possibility, and that’s a nightmare scenario. Given what happened with the presidential appointment in 2000 and the questions about voting irregularities in 2004, one can rest assured that the archaic system of breaking an electoral tie would keep the election in court for at least a year, or until the Supreme Court simply appoints McCain and Palin.
Tags: Biden, Bush, Cheney, Edwards, electoral, football, gay, kerry, McCain, Obama, Palin, Rove, tennis, vote
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