I did it. I managed to sit through the last debate, with only a minor diversion while I ate a chimichanga. I hope I didn’t miss anything. My trusty Golden Retriever, Shadow, laid in the living room while I was gone. He promised to tell me if anything important happened. When I came back from the kitchen, Shadow was eating one of my socks.
It’s been that kind of election.
McCain isn’t a good performer. He makes me nervous. He’s anxious and erratic. He brought up Joe the Plumber. I guess that’s today’s Joe Six Pack. Joe the Plumber apparently thinks Obama would raise his taxes. Obama says that maybe Joe’s been watching Senator McCain’s ads.
I know an old plumber back in my homeland who amuses everyone with his tales of how wealthy he has become as a plumber. Once, looking at a recipe book for hamburger, he said, “I’m a plumber. I wonder if they make a book like this for filet mignon.”
But, that’s neither here nor there. The Joe the Plumber line is already tired.
Obama is unflappable. That doesn’t surprise me.
McCain says Obama is all about ‘class warfare’. That makes me laugh. Class warfare is the Republican policy of redistributing wealth from people who work to trust fund bums.
McCain says tax, spend, blah, business tax is high. It sounds like something he said at another debate, and probably every campaign stop. It falls flat.
McCain brags that his bailout plan is the same as Senator Clinton’s. In other words, it’s plagiarized. It’s still a bad idea, and kissing Hillary’s pants-suited arse isn’t going to get McCain the votes he needs.
By the way, Hillary supporters, here’s what John McCain thinks about Hillary’s family. He said, and I quote, “Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father is Janet Reno.” Cue the laugh track. And get out of the way at the polling place, because Hillary’s supporters are going to be fighting their way in to vote for McCain!
McCain says something about knowing how to do something. He always says, “I know how.” I wish I knew how.
Gordie Howe.
McCain loves the nucular power. It’s clear that he came of age in the Golden Age of the Radioactive Utopia. It’s also clear that he knows absolutely nothing about the safety issues or the exorbitant costs of building and operating a fission reactor. Yes, they are on Navy ships. The Navy also carries nuclear warheads. The Navy is not in the business of safety or even sanity. The Navy breaks things and kills people.
McCain brought up the overhead projector. Obama ignored it again. I don’t think he has to defend that projector. People know what an infinitesimal item in the budget that is.
Obama says he doesn’t like earmarks either, and then points out that they’re small potatoes.
When Obama again equates McCain’s policies to Bush’s, McCain says he’s not President Bush and that if Obama wanted to run against Bush he should have run 4 years ago. To give you an idea of how little is expected of McCain, this is being billed as his ultimate triumph. Of course, Obama answered in his peculiarly cool manner and it was over. He says that on the core economic issues, Bush and McCain are the same. That’s indisputable.
They are a little feistier tonight, but every time McCain jabs, Obama bloodies him. That’s why McCain used the theme from Rocky. Hillary used it, too. It’s foreshadowing for a loss to a younger, faster black dude.
Schieffer wants the boys to throw down. McCain says they should have had town halls, apparently making the odd point that that would have prevented negative campaigning. Hmmm… I don’t think so. It would have been pointless, as by the 3rd or 4th town hall, nobody would have noticed. If these things can’t be marketed as events, they won’t be watched.
Then McCain brings up John Lewis who equated the rabble rousing at McCain-Palin rallies with George Wallace. Lewis really has a point. I wouldn’t equate McCain with Wallace, but their rallies look very much the same, meaning they are completely white. Also, George Wallace was a Democrat. He was active in politics at just the time that the Southern racists were making their move to the Republican Party.
Next, McCain of the Party of Whiners, pisses and moans about Obama not taking public financing. Does anyone, yes anyone, believe McCain would have taken public financing if he had a proven ability to raise money? No, nobody believes that. He chose the public financing route because he knew he was going to lose the fundraising battle badly anyway. He also knows he can count on T. Boone Pickens and the other Swiftboaters to funnel the Republicans an unlimited supply of sleaze money. That reminds me…I need to write about this T. Boone Pickens fella before people start believing his homey energy ads. He’s a piece of shit.
McCain wants to fight, but he’s jumpy and unnerving. Obama just keeps turning back to the issues. Obama delivers a sterling silver smackdown on the John Lewis controversy.
McCain says he’s proud of the people coming to his rallies. They are the most dedicated, patriotic citizens. Nobody said they’re not patriotic or not dedicated. People are saying they’re racist trash. This would be a good time for Obama to point that out, but he won’t. I don’t mind doing it for him. McCain also brought up some t-shirts that are being worn at McCain-Palin events.
He might mean this one:
But, don’t forget who started the cunt ball rolling. You’d never know it, but it’s this one!
Overall, this debate has a different feel. McCain is desperate and grimacing and grasping at straws. This one is clearly not a draw, but I’m sure the news will portray it as one, and the polls afterward will show a resounding Obama victory.
McCain then says ACORN is destroying the fabric of democracy. He also brings up Ayers. McCain is angry and whiny. That’s not very presidential.
Obama says that McCain making Ayers the centerpiece of the campaign says more about McCain than it says about Obama. That’s an excellent point in that bringing up Ayers is a desperate move by a campaign that sucks as hard as it blows.
Obama calmly and reassuringly explains his relationship with Ayers and ACORN. He’s very convincing
He’s killing McCain.
McCain busily says that he wants the truth about Ayers. It would seem that Obama has just answered that question. Then he mumbles that he won’t raise taxes. Whoo Hoo! Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
As they discuss their running mates, Obama again has thoughtful, reasoned arguments about Biden’s accomplishments and experience. McCain tells stories about reform and special needs children, so suck it bitches! Sarah Palin is a breath of fresh air, and Joe Biden is a seasoned Senator with enormous foreign and domestic policy experience and knowledge. Who would you rather have in that room with Vladimir Putin? Come to think of it, a room with Vladimir Putin in it might need a breath of fresh air, but I’m sure Biden smells good, too. He looks clean.
It also seems like the breath of fresh air in the campaign is Obama.
Everything from the McCain camp is the same old big government is killing your babies by smothering them in terrorists stuff. Maybe that plays well in the bitter corners of the country where people are angrily clinging to guns and religion.
Obama also points out that McCain’s across the board spending freeze would hurt special needs children. Duh. Spending freezes are ridiculous. The peasants would knock down the gates at one of McCain’s many homes and charge in with pitchforks if he tried to force a spending freeze. Government has a purpose. The citizens are not only the government; they are the beneficiaries of its largesse. It would seem odd to fight ourselves to not give ourselves much-needed programs.
McCain says Joe Biden’s been wrong on some stuff. After 30 plus years in the Senate, I’m sure it’s possible to find votes he now regrets. That’s not flip-flopping; that’s learning from your mistakes. Republicans don’t do that because they never admit mistakes. Then McCain says more stuff about taxes and spending. Fuck. I’m getting tired.
McCain makes a snotty, condescending, unappealing attack on Obama’s views on trade agreements. Then he says if we’re willing to risk irradiating the planet for an eternity, we can use fission reactors to make ourselves independent of Venezuelan and Middle Eastern oil in 8 to 10 years. Oddly, I’ve never seen a car powered by a fission reactor, though I’m sure someone tried it in McCain’s Golden Age of the Radioactive Utopia. The internal combustion engine is the culprit in our oil consumption.
Obama says that not all trade agreements are good. McCain gets all jealous and snotty about Obama’s oratorical gifts, and then says he wants to talk about Columbia which Obama doesn’t understand because he’s never been there. Weird to run for office with Sarah Palin and attack Barack Obama for not traveling enough. Huh. Oh well. I never expected McCain to make sense.
McCain’s obsessed with saying Obama doesn’t understand things. Obama points out that he does understand. Labor leaders are being killed and nobody’s being prosecuted for it in Columbia. That, my friends, is a good reason to turn down trade agreements with Columbia. McCain disagrees. I guess that’s just collateral damage to him.
Obama is better than McCain tonight, more noticeably than in the other debates. He’s smart and well-informed.
Obama went on to talk about retooling to make alt energy equipment and fuel-efficient cars. That’s a nice appeal to the ailing Midwest, and a stark contrast to McCain’s bragging about trying to kill ethanol subsidies. Car and corn country is rapidly moving into the Democratic column.
McCain says that Obama wants to raise taxes and restrict trade in a recession, like Herbert Hoover! Ha! Let’s talk about Hoover. The nation was prospering when he was elected. Sound familiar, W? When Hoover left office, the nation was plummeting into economic disaster. Sound familiar, W? Then a Democrat had to bail the country out. That Democrat was Franklin Roosevelt. Does anyone feel comfortable giving Hoover…I mean W, another term?
W and his obscene policies brought us this decession. Why would anyone be driven to believe that McBush would do any better?
McCain carries on and on about Joe the Plumber. It’s become tiresome. Obama does finally explain to the overmatched McCain that Joe will pay a whopping fine of $0 because small businesses are exempt from his health care mandate. It was nice of Obama to finally clear that up. McCain had been stressing about it for weeks.
McCain keeps buzzing around, and when he has clearly lost, he says, “This One will raise your taxes!” Or something equally as ridiculous.
Obama explains that the McCain health care plan will cause people to lose their coverage. McCain says, “Joe, you’re rich!” It was an oddly timed interjection, and McCain further claims that Joe will be fined. Obama, however, had already cleared that up.
Am I the only one who noticed that Obama answered many of McCain’s questions before he asked them, and then McCain asked them anyway? He and Palin have a similar technique of regurgitating points rather than debating.
McCain called Obama ‘Senator Government’. That was funny! Of course, it was just the opening of yet another sentence about how government was ruining our lives. Whilst, at this very time, government is bailing out the very Republican darling corporations that for 28 years have exhibited outright hatred of government. Ironic!
In an effort to, I guess, appeal to someone I don’t know, Scheiffer brought up abortion. That made McCain’s eyes light up. It’s the one thing conservatives want to hear about.
McCain lies and says he wouldn’t apply an abortion litmus test, but says he would only appoint constructionists. That’s like a Constitutional Fundamentalist, for those of you who don’t speak Republican. That is a litmus test.
McCain attacks Obama’s record, basically calling him a baby killer, as Republicans often do, and Obama refutes the attack point by point.
In yet another striking comeback, McCain attacked Obama’s eloquence and said all baby killers are concerned about the health of the mother. Apparently Republicans are not concerned about the health of the mother. Mothers everywhere, hurry! Run to vote for McCain! He doesn’t care about you!
Obama says education impacts the economy and national security. He wants to make college affordable and give a $4000 tuition credit to students for service work. That’s an excellent idea. He adds that parents need to stop sucking. He’s right about that, too.
McCain wants school competition. There ya go, John. Go ahead and make education a free-market construct so only rich kids go to school. That will be very effective in the upward redistribution of wealth the Republicans have made famous.
I don’t know anything about Troops to Teachers, but McCain made it sound like a shortcut from the military to the classroom without the need to get certified. If that’s the case, I think…uhhh…no. How does making a pile of naked Iraqis make you a qualified teacher? Perhaps it’s a geometry experiment. It’s also a psychology experiment. It’s also a good way to make public education worse, thus furthering the goal of privatizing it, and making it inaccessible to poor kids…like Barack was…but definitely isn’t any more.
McCain adds that Sarah Palin knows about kids with autism. I’m sure that’s true. She has a kid with Down syndrome. She also knows foreign policy because maybe there’s a part of Alaska from which you can see Russia. From my 2nd story bedroom in my childhood home, I could see Canada. That made me an expert on NAFTA, single-payer health care, and the RCMP. Furthermore, in my reckless youth, some friends and I illegally crossed the border and got drunk, then crossed the border and came home. Thus, I am not only an expert in illegal immigration and international relations, but I am also a brewmeister.
Closing arguments.
Blah.
Interestingly, I received a phone call and then saw a few minutes of CNN coverage of the debate before I posted this. Their ‘experts’ certainly had a different take on the debate than I do. They thought McCain did well. I think McCain did not do well. In fact, I thought this was his worst performance by far. Every statement and every attack was brushed away harmlessly. Unless looking at Senator Obama, grimacing, and forcing out Senator Obama’s name is some kind of victory.
That’s it.
Good night!
Tags: ACORN, Alaska, Biden, brewmeister, Canada, Chelsea Clinton, class warfare, cunt, democrat, Golden Retriever, Gordie Howe, Hillary Clinton, Janet Reno, Joe the Plumber, McCain, Obama, Palin, Putin, RCMP, redistribution of wealth, republican, Russia, Schieffer, Senator Government, Shadow, swift boat, T. Boone Pickens
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