Sometimes I try. I don’t know why I try, but sometimes I do. Maybe it’s my calling, my anointing, or maybe I just like to fight.
Today was one of those days.
I was drywalling a room with my friend, whom I shall call Sparky.
There I was, holding the corded, collated screw gun, and laughing about how I was clinging bitterly to my screw gun and even screwier religion. (Editors Note: I belong to an offshoot of Jews for Jesus called Shintoists for Ganesh.)
Sparky said, “I didn’t tell you yet, but I changed my mind again. I’m voting for McCain.”
“Wha?”, I said.
“Yeah, I saw what they were saying about Obama wanting to redistribute wealth.”
“Watching Faux News again, Sparky.”
“I hate those fucking liberals on CNN. They never even talk about how Obama’s going to raise taxes.”
“He isn’t going to raise taxes.”
“I don’t want to subsidize lazy people.”
There it was. Everyone who isn’t rich is lazy! I knew it was coming. It always does. Argue about tax policy with any Republican, and they’ll eventually break down and tell you that a sane, progressive tax system just subsidizes lazy people, welfare queens, and all other manner of lies they take to bed after watching Faux News.
A lot of the people who believe that poppycock are, unfortunately, people like Sparky, who works part-time and gets State-funded health care because his income is low.
Why are there so many Joe the Plumbers and Sparky the Drywallers? They have access to limited information, first and foremost, and the information they do access is on Faux News. Why do they watch Faux News? Because they were told that Faux News is fair and balanced. It’s very much like the bible, which is true because it says inside that it’s true. Problem solved.
Hot Free Press is the Undiluted Fountain of Delicious Truthiness. The proof of that statement is that it says so right up there. ^
So, I know Sparky, a part-time laborer who makes little money and has State-funded health care but thinks people are poor because they’re lazy and doesn’t want to subsidize lazy people.
I also know…what should I call him…how about Other Sparky? Other Sparky is a middle class computer guy of some sort. He also collects a disability check from the government because he couldn’t hack it in the Navy…and that wasn’t even at sea. Whatever. Because he couldn’t hack it in the Navy, he also has a lifetime of free health care, you know, the evil government health care like the fucking French have. Socialists.
Anyway, Other Sparky hates government, rails about socialism and socialist polices, and rants about a strong defense, and all the while he accepts government checks and government health care because he couldn’t make it for one lousy stint in the Navy.
So, you see, if you’re a liberal and you want a fair and inclusive health care system, you’re lazy.
You just need to get off your ass and buy your own. That shouldn’t be a problem. Let’s say you make minimum wage, which is what, $6.55 an hour? The average premium for single coverage is $4,400 per year.
That leaves you with a whopping $8700 to live on that year.
Gosh, that’s $725 dollars per month, you fucking whiner!
Why would you want to punish someone making over $250,000 per year by asking them to do their patriotic duty and pay for their share of the civilization they’re so richly capitalizing on?
Just suck it up, you poor, lazy babies. If you can’t find a way to live on $725 per month, perhaps you need to get out of your welfare Cadillac and do some dumpster diving. Remember those kids we paid you to have? Have some of them help you dig through the garbage to find a half-eaten sub.
Jackpot!
The average rent in the US is about $650 per month, after paying that and your health care costs, you should still have $75 burning a hole in your pocket. That’s about $2.50 per day. Now shut your ass up and stop being lazy.
Democrats who want a fair health care system are lazy socialists.
Republicans, like Sparky and Other Sparky, who already receive free health care *and* welfare are good, hard-working Americans.
If you want everyone to have what you believe in, you’re an indolent lotus-eater.
If you accept payments from the programs that you don’t want anyone to have, you’re the American Superman, a war hero, an exalted exemplar of the American virtue of incongruency.
Tags: drywall, Health Care, incongruency, Other Sparky, Republican Democrat, socialism, socialist, Sparky, welfare
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