After a hard day of painting or tiling, I like to come home and watch these two rubes embarrass themselves.
Above are the geniuses behind The Way of the Master, Ray Comfort, and Kirk Cameron.
Transcription:
Behold, the atheist’s nightmare. Now, if you study a well-made banana, you’ll find on the far side you have three ridges, on the close side, two ridges. If you get your hand ready to grip a banana, you’ll find on the far side there are three grooves, on the close side, two grooves. The banana and the hand are perfectly made, one for the other.
Things that are delicious, but don’t fit perfectly into the human hand: pineapples, cows, and beer.
Things that do fit perfectly into the human hand, but aren’t delicious: tasers, rolls of quarters, and Golden Poison Dart Frogs.
If you get your hand ready to grip your penis, you’ll also find that the penis and the hand are perfectly made, one for the other. So, why not do what you were created to do?
You’ll find the maker of the banana, almighty god, has made it with a non-slip surface.
You’ll find the maker of my boat deck has made it with a non-slip surface, as well. The maker of the boat deck isn’t almighty, by any means, and it won’t help if you throw down one of those non-slip banana peels. Surely, someone will slip on the non-slip banana surface.
It has outward indicators of inward contents. Green: too early. Yellow: just right. Black: too late.
Green: Delicious Banana Fries. Yellow: Kinda Gooey and Sweet. Black: Banana Bread!
It’s a matter of perspective.
The black persimmon is green on the outside, and should only be eaten when it’s nearly black in the center, at which point it tastes a little like chocolate pudding.
Now, if you go to the top of the banana, you’ll find, as with the soda can makers that placed a tab at the top, so god has placed a tab at the top.
Other fruits with a tab on the top?
When you pull the tab, the contents don’t squirt in your face.
Penis.
You’ll find a wrapper which is biodegradable, has perforations.
Pumpkins have ‘perforations’, too, but they’re more difficult to peel by grasping the ‘tab’.
Notice how gracefully it sits over the human hand.
A jellyfish sits gracefully over the human hand, too, and that’s just hurty.
Notice it has a point at the top for ease of entry.
Penis.
It’s just the right shape for the human mouth.
Penis.
It’s chewy. Easy to digest.
It’s been engineered by man over thousands of years to be chewy and easy to digest. It’s also seedless. It’s propagated by transplanting part of the underground stem or by tissue culture.
It’s even curved toward the face to make the whole process so much easier.
Penis.
Seriously, Kirk, the whole of creation testifies to the genius of god’s creative…something.
This stuff is all fun, but god didn’t design that fruit in Comfort’s clammy little hand, man did. This is a wild banana:
Wild bananas, as shown above, have a bit of a different look than the human-engineered triploid abomination Mr. Comfort was fellating in the video.
Evidence found at the Kuk Swamp in Papua New Guinea indicates that the banana may have been domesticated as long ago as 8000 BCE, or almost 4000 years before the universe was created.
It took a lot of time, effort, and intelligence for man to design the banana in the video.
11 And God said, “Let the earth put forth vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, upon the earth.” And it was so. 12 The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.
And now, it’s even better, more tasty, less unsightly, and with no annoying seeds.
It’s also more phallic.
To Ray Comfort, however, it’s all about the way it feels in his hand, the tip, the curvature, and being able to put it in his mouth.
Tags: atheist, atheist's nightmare, banana, creationism, Evolution, Intelligent Design, Kirk Cameron, Kuk Swamp, New Guinea, Ray Comfort, Way of the Master
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